Thursday, 23 June 2011

I hate pregnancy

It's a necessary evil, I know, because hopefully it will lead me to fulfill my dream to be a earth mum but nothing at all changed since last time. Pregnancy is a pain in the arse, makes you feel uncomfortable, makes you lose control of your body and makes too many people mind to your own business.
I see nothing attractive in being a huge whale which barely moves.
I want my baby here now and my functioning body back.

Sunday, 19 June 2011


Come l'insieme dei colori dell'arcobaleno
Come la spuma delle onde dell'oceano
Come un raggio di sole che penetra le nuvole
Come un foglio che deve essere scritto con parole d'amore
Come una tela che verra' riempita delle immagini piu' belle.

Saturday, 18 June 2011

9 months ago

and 2 months to go. Where am I? Everything feels so unreal. Jacopo has never been, Bianca will never be. Do I exist?
Jacopo was born 9 months ago and he was real even if all I have is a picture on my wall and him forever in my heart. Bianca is supposed to be born in 2 months and she is kicking, so she should be real as well. Why do I feel so confused and scared and numb and confused again?
Bianca please, come, hold my hand and bring me back to earth. Jacopo please, keep and eye on us all and don't let anything bad happen. Love you both, little children. Mum

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

I'm listening

I feel you growing. I can feel you are getting stronger. Don't give up my love. I don't trust my body but I trust you. You'll let me know if something is wrong, if you don't get enough from me and if you are not fine. I'm listening, any second of my day, any single heartbeat of my heart which rings with yours, just a bit slower.

Sunday, 5 June 2011


I made the bags: one for me one for you. Yours isn't ready yet, I'm waiting for the 'tiny baby' stuff still but everything else is clean and ready. Are you gonna let me use it, this time around? Are you gonna give me the chance to show you what kind of gorgeous mum you have? I'm typing, you're kicking, this sounds familiar.
Now it's time to move towards unfamiliar scenarios, where you cry and drive me crazy and I lack of sleep.
Not long to go, but it feels forever. No long though. Keep growing up steadily, keep kicking and rolling and please... come on earth and home with me.

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

To my little lady

If you'll ever arrive safe on this earth, we will walk its roads together, hand in hand. You'll learn the beauty of flowers, the feeling of the sun on the skin and the sea on your feet. You'll see the seagulls and the gooses on the riverside in front of home and you'll touch the grass, the leafs and the cherries from the tree. We will visit cities and lands, we will fly over oceans and rest on green fields and we will love each other so much that we can barely bear.
And we will find a confortable place together, where we will go every time we want to stay with you angel brother.
Please my sweet little lady, come home with mum and dad, come home and grow up and be our gift, our rainbow after the storm, our hope, our second special child.