You walk into someone's life and you know nothing. You assume, because they are smiley and friendly, that they had an easy life: no drama, no trauma, no death to make them angry.
You assume that you always are the different one, like when you were the scared little girl that had to change school in 3rd grade because her mom had died and her dad couldn't handle it.
That stigma, that you were the different one, the unlucky one, the one that had to be strong and knew what life was all about. That stigma is still there with you everyday, when you believe that you had the shittiest life - for a middle class, first world, so far healthy woman of course: perspective always-.
It's there when you assume that everyone else, in your middle class, first and almost healthy world, comes straight out a fairy tale book.
Until it is not.
Until you realize that many others had a pretty shitty life and you had no idea. Because, like you, they are smiley and friendly, but they nod in deep understanding when you say that you know what loss means. Exactly as you did so many times.
I have been pretty unlucky for time to time in my life - many will not have to go through some of my shittiest moments. But many others have already, and I did not know. And all I want to do now is to hug them all and tell them that I know how they feel, I know that life can be awful and then beautiful again. And beyond sadness, and grief, and anger there is joy again. Because after a storm there is always a rainbow.