and I miss you very much, baby boy. Tears are less frequent now and days are less painful. Anger is almost gone and life has taken a sort of new undertone routine. I can laugh sometimes. I have days when I can also concentrate at work and make the job done.
But if I should define how I feel, probably one word is enough: empty. I feel almost nothing, I'm not interested. I just miss my boy and I know that I'm not where I'd like to be, again. I don't feel chatty and it's like I'm living inside me most of the time. Sometimes it's strange, some other times I guess it's like I became, after all I've gone through. Or maybe at the moment there isn't space for much more than survival, still.
Very real, very raw, very brave---You.
ReplyDeleteIts normal to feel this way, your normal in the way you describe above. As hard as it is to believe it now, that emptyness will soon become partially filled with other every day things. The sadness will never go, but your consentration and your want to have conversations will come back. Hugs xox
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