Misunderstanding

I don't understand.
I'm browsing the web these days, following the links and the links on the links on the blogs I find interesting. Often, on the topic of perinatal losses, I realised many websites and blogs stress the fact that angel parents don't have to feel ashamed and have to shout the grief out loud. I agree on the shouting because it's cathartic for us and maybe helps other people in our shoes if we share how we feel. Maybe, even friends and families find useful to read how it feels to lose a baby, so they can better help their loved ones.
But shame... I just don't get it. I had a full range of feelings from deep despair to blind anger but I never and ever felt ashamed that Jacopo didn't come home with me. Very pissed off, indeed. Shame implies the admission of a guilt, like we deserved to be punished (by who, who knows). I think the other way round, instead. We didn't deserve to have to go through this hell and so, in case, it isn't us who should be ashamed.